Philosophy | Why? | Green Cross-Country Code | Put-downs
Put downs are best delivered calmly and coolly, with a smile - they always work better that way. Anyway, it's really not worth getting worked up about moaning gits, it'll only spoil your day (and brings you closer to losing self-control and getting violent, which is something to be avoided at all costs). This is something people who insist on doling out verbal never seem to understand - it winds them up more than it winds up the people they're abusing, so in the end, they're simply spoiling their own day out!
Abusing people has no positive effect whatsoever. Think about it. If you're riding where you "shouldn't" be by choice, someone being miserable at you and giving you a mouthful of whinge isn't going to instantly make you disappear, or stick religiously to bridleways in future, is it? Alternatively, if you happen to be on a footpath by accident or in an emergency, abuse still isn't going to help the situation for anyone. If only they'd simply smile back and return the "Good morning", we'd all of us be a lot happier.
Similarly, you wont change anyone's opinion when they're determined to moan at you, so all you can do is make sure that if anyone gets wound up, it isn't you. That way you can laugh about it for the rest of the day, rather than riding about in a red mist. Remember - there are no valid reasons why cyclists shouldn't have access to footpaths. Therefore, every moan and whinge has an answer. You just have to figure out what they are (It may help to read the Why? page, which should give a feel for the likely arguments you may face, and the counter arguments to go with them). That said, even if you have an answer, the chances of a miserable git paying any attention to it is somewhat slim. A smile and a happy greeting often works best
The first thing to do when faced with confrontation is to avoid it. If you've followed our Green Cross-Country Code, you'll have done everything in your power to be courteous and hence avoid a confrontation. After you've made way for the oncoming people, smiled at them and said a polite greeting, if they're still going red in the face and intent on giving you an earful about rights, access laws and the practicalities of calling the police to the middle of nowhere, you're going to have to make your excuses and leave.
First then, know where you are. You'd be surprised (or maybe not) at the number of times we've been berated whilst on bridleways. Point out it is actually a bridleway and demand an apology. If they ignore the facts, you can do no more than laugh at their ignorance and ride off. If you're not on a bridleway, move on to the next suggestion...
Assess the situation. Do they have a dog? Is it on a lead? Are they carrying a pooper-scooper? (shit shovel, bluntly.) Many paths and areas demand dogs must be on leads and owners must clean up after them. If this is the case for where you are, and the whinger has an unleashed dog, gently point out the error of their ways, say "One-all, sorry" and ride off as they fume.
It's funny, but most of the whingers we pass seem to have uncontrolled dogs - this might just be a coincidence, or it might be because the people most intent at whinging at everyone else are the very same intolerant gits most likely to ignore rules themselves, as they think they don't apply to them. This frequently makes your life very easy indeed.
If all else fails and you really can't let it pass, you'll need a response. Your own are generally the most satisfying, but here's a few ideas to try as you ride away (they've all been used in genuine situations before now). Any more? Send us your suggestions.
This is fantastic. Until you've tried it, you wouldn't believe how effective it is. Said first, it will disarm a lot of people who might otherwise have a moan. As a response to a moan, it will keep you calmer while at the same time further winding up those people moaning at you. No, we have no idea why this is, but it does seem to work.
Almost as good is:
**Click here for some truly fantastic facts about "citizen's arrest"